I Was Very Very Drunk (Music & lyrics: Saarinen)

I've had a few drinks on a friday night
and the girls all start to look alright
I take another shot of vodka
Though the music bites
it's time to step under the discolights

My moves may be absurd but I am feeling good
I head on to talk to a girl I knew
"Whiskey on the rocks - or let's say make it two"
and the rest of the night is a bit of a blur

Well, my dancing wasn't really all that good, I'm afraid,
I was very, very drunk at the time
And the girl that I woke up next to didn't look that fine
All the drinking must've weakened my sight
As I bow to the porcelain altar I think to myself
I don't ever want to recall that night

As I'm heading outside I can't find my shoes
and my cell phone seems to be missing too
Can't quite recall where I placed them because of the booze
and there's an inflatable sheep in my loo

My living room is all turned upside down
and there are empty bottles on the roof
There must've been one hell of an after party but what can I do
I quite honestly can't remember poo

All the things I've said I can't recall, I'm afraid
I was very, very drunk at the time
And I really didn't mean to start up a fight
all the drinking made me loose my mind
As I woke up from my vomit I thought to myself
I don't ever want to think of that night

What's left but a lifetime abomination?
Should I just pack my bags and flee across the nation?
How am I supposed to live with this humiliation?
I think I'll change my name and go see a plastic surgeon

I am sorry for everything that I've said and done
I was very, very drunk at the time
And the inflatable sheep - I honestly don't know where it's from
but I swear that it wasn't mine
I didn't mean to piss off or on anyone
that was really really out of line
But if you saw me running naked across the town
you could tell I had certainly had my share of the wine